I've been babysitting Porter for a full day now. Still no sign of Chuck. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to be getting out of this. Except, maybe, overtime. Yeah, definitely getting some overtime.
To pass the hours, I've decided to make up stories about Porter. You know, like you do when you go to the mall or whatever--guy and a girl walk by, and she is definitely a Puerto Rican transvestite searching for a tiny chihuahua-sized boa that will match her own, and he is obviously a recent lottery winner who is not yet aware of his new "girlfriend's" status.
For Porter, I've decided to pretend that he's a . . . are you ready for this? That he's a ninja. I know, I know, it just came to me. Mostly because he's part chow (allegedly), which makes him Chinese, and that's where they make ninjas. Right? They make everything else there. Pretty sure ninjas are Chinese.
Anyway, Porter can do all the usual ninja stuff--walk up walls, disappear into shadows, look totally badass instead of totally dorky with a bowstaff--but he has one weakness, one heroic flaw: an unhealthy obsession with ankles. I swear, he goes after mine like they're covered in peanut butter and hamburgers.
Haven't seen Stoli in a while. Figuring he must have finally gone after that lion tamer job he's always going on about. Should be a good fit.
-Jonesy
8/10/08
To pass the hours, I've decided to make up stories about Porter. You know, like you do when you go to the mall or whatever--guy and a girl walk by, and she is definitely a Puerto Rican transvestite searching for a tiny chihuahua-sized boa that will match her own, and he is obviously a recent lottery winner who is not yet aware of his new "girlfriend's" status.
For Porter, I've decided to pretend that he's a . . . are you ready for this? That he's a ninja. I know, I know, it just came to me. Mostly because he's part chow (allegedly), which makes him Chinese, and that's where they make ninjas. Right? They make everything else there. Pretty sure ninjas are Chinese.
Anyway, Porter can do all the usual ninja stuff--walk up walls, disappear into shadows, look totally badass instead of totally dorky with a bowstaff--but he has one weakness, one heroic flaw: an unhealthy obsession with ankles. I swear, he goes after mine like they're covered in peanut butter and hamburgers.
Haven't seen Stoli in a while. Figuring he must have finally gone after that lion tamer job he's always going on about. Should be a good fit.
-Jonesy
8/10/08
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